A major research institution has discovered the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element, for now, has been named, "Governmentium."
Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an "atomic mess" of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected and it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. The minutest amount of Governmentium can cause one reaction to take four to six weeks to complete when it would normally take less than one second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but every four years undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientist to speculate that Governmentium formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass". You will know it when you encounter it. I don't know for sure, but I think we're there!
3 comments:
One might also observe that governmentium has the unique property of having only a minimal "atomic mess" when (1) it is surrounded by a transparent chamber known as the Principle of Rights; and (2) it is subjected to a bright light of constant scrutiny.
I do, however, disagree that the number of "morons" is relevant; rather it is the pervasive presence of the noxious gas mysticium that accounts for bloating of the "atomic mess."
Thanks for the comment. I'm working on the defeat of Governmentium by smothering with a good does of reason, found described in 'Atlas Shrugged".
These 'morons' are aided and abetted by the bozo-ons in the press who have an irresistable attraction to the morons.
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